First Day Of School

Last week was quite an interesting week for all of us. It was Thaddeus’ first day of school. Thaddeus will be turning 4 this year and we have finally decided to start him off on kindy. He’s ready – he has been trained, at least, not to pee in his training pants.

We have been pressured to start him at 3 by people around us. With Covid still at large and Thaddeus hasn’t been vaccinated yet, we have been rather comfortable with him at home. He has been learning stuffs, singing, writing, reading, being creative with Lego, pillows, etc. Don’t have to be pressured to send your little one to kindy yah.

The Kindy

We checked the many kindies we have around us. It is good to bring your child along so that he/she gets the feel of it, and the kindy, if you’re interested, can start your child off with an “enrolment test” or some would call it “entry exam” – basically to gauge what and how much your child can do/know.

We have shortlisted these, and we took time to check them out: Pioneer Church, Q-dees, Smart Talent and Joyous.

These were the things we looked for:

1. Syllabus: What are they teaching your child? Did they go through the materials with you? Were you able to screen through them?
2. Facilities: Is there a playground, air conditioner, music room, etc. Grass trimmed?
3. Environment: Is it conducive for learning? Individual classrooms or congregation style with mobile partitions?
4. Staff Member: Teacher(s) to a class ratio. Ideally it should be at least 2-3 teachers to one.
5. Enrolment: How many students do they have? Does it mean more students better, or would it also mean your child’s care could be “easily” neglected? Too many kids together would it also mean it’s easier for them to fall sick? Covid?

Our conlusion…

1. Pioneer: Been there since forever. However, only three active classes. Only one teacher per class. Generally very noisy, a lot of shouting by teachers – depicts poor management also not a very conducive environment for your child to learn. Generally the kindy looks dark, poor lighting. Teacher only showed us a new workbook set still sealed in plastic wrapper.
2. Q-dees: Very concusive learning atmosphere. Generally quiet, individual classrooms, air-conditioner available, music class available. Emphasis on discipline and academic performance. Rapid/regular progress report. Balanced syllabus, interesting/colorful workbooks. We liked.
3. Smart Talent: I personally didn’t find Smart Talent, smart. Disorganized, small and messy office, staff had to rummage through boxes for workbook samples, timetable ready-available. Wasn’t excited to know more.
4. Joyous: Met with the principal herself. Showed us visual catalogues of what they did. Ran through the syllabus with us. Good facilities. 3 teachers to one class ratio. Very conducive learning environment. Emphasis on individual wellness and social skills. Bright and illustrated walls. Felt fun. We liked.

Joyous

We enrolled Thaddeus with Joyous. We recognize the need for Thaddeus to socialize more, than to study. Else we would have enrolled him with Q-dees without a doubt.

We have also learned that the principal, Ms. Guok and her staff team, are adept in handling children with much love and care. Every teacher there knows every single child by name. We also experienced how sharp and knowledgable Ms. Guok was from how she reached out to Thaddeus.

Last Week

Thaddeus has been very excited about school. He would talk about it, and he would also imagine having a teacher teaching him sorts. But I believe he loved school that much, was because of the impression of how school is linked closely to school bus.

Thaddeus loves anything with wheels.

He has been exposed to different versions of “The Wheels on the Bus” in song, in books and of course, toys.

However going to school, there wasn’t any school bus there. He saw and learned that parents send their child to school, drop them off, and leave.

It was a reality check for Thaddeus.

Day One

Ms. Guok told us during the briefing that parents are not allowed to accompany the child into the class. They practice a “drop-and-go” approach which I thought was brilliant. That way they wouldn’t need to do the extra in managing any non-compliant parents, and the child would be able to separate from the parents easier.

We arrived at school, Thaddeus was in his car seat, the car stopped, the teacher opened the door, the teacher unbuckled him, and carried him out from the car seat.

Thaddeus didn’t cry! We believe everything happened so fast, Thaddeus didn’t have much time to process the everything that happened, therefore wasn’t able to react or respond to it.

Thaddeus didn’t cry on his first day of school!

It should be fine for the rest of the week… So we thought. Evening came and “I don’t want to go to school!”

He has been crying and saying the same thing since, “I don’t want to go to school!” Every single day.

What We Did

We tried different things hopefully he would look forward to school.

1. No Mom
   I think most children area very attached to their mothers. So on the second day, I sent him without mummy! And sure enough, “Where’s mummy?” “I want mummy” “I love mummy” till he got “plucked” out from his car seat. He cried, and it was heart-breaking.
2. “Bribe”
   You go to school, then… Which we fulfilled. He got additional Hotwheels to his collection. Still, “I don’t want to go to school!” Well, that didn’t work too.
3. Grandpa
   Got grandpa to send instead on the third day of school. Still… “I don’t want to go to school!” “Where is a-gong (grandpa) taking me?” “Daddy why are you not coming?” Still cried, didn’t work too.
4. Wait
   We tried something different today. Learned about it from Yvonne’s mom, Aunty Jenny who sent her son Isaac to school due to work. What Aunty Jenny did, she promised Isaac that she’ll wait for him with the car parked outside of the school (and leaves after they dismissed from the assembly). It was BRILLIANT! That way, Thaddeus can still see us waiting for him outside, and we didn’t have to make any promises we can’t keep, and most importantly, we don’t have to lie.

School starts at 8:00 with assembly. By 8:15, the kids would have entered their classrooms. We left shortly after that. We’ll be early to pick him up, as if we “never left”.

It’s Okay

It is totally fine for your child to be found crying to school. Take comfort, at least, it isn’t “that bad” till the school had to call you to take your child home.

Bottom Line

We learnt that it was due to the “fear of abandonment” to why Thaddeus has been like this. We can certainly do something about it to help make him feel more… secured.